Jessica Boudria - Shares Her Experience Working with Mental Management

My name is Jessica Dawn Boudria, and I have been a contestant in the Today’s Girl Pageant since it began in 2006. Last year, at the national finals, I won Princess in my division (which is second place overall to the Queen title). This year, I wanted to be more successful at the state finals, which historically was a more difficult competition for me, partly because it falls at the very beginning of summer – always a busy time – and is usually the very next week after school is out. I just didn’t perform that well at the state pageant, and since I am a true Texas girl, the state title was a goal I wanted to achieve, but always seemed to peak at winning talent.

My mom heard about Mental Management and wanted me to attend sessions in preparation for the state finals, because, as moms do, she had a lot of confidence in me and knew that I could win the competition. When I met Heather Sumlin, she had a smile on her face that said “Welcome!” without her saying a word. She was very sweet and helpful, never criticizing me when I wasn’t sure of how to answer an interview question. She gave her opinion in a kind way, without attempting to change my views, but to help me express them clearly. Heather taught me to make my answers interesting, fun, and to always paint a picture for the judges to visualize so that they would remember me. She was interested in me and my life outside of pageants, too, so I really enjoyed going to my appointments with her. My mom began to notice that she didn’t have to prompt me to practice my talent or work on my interview questions for the pageant. I had developed my own drive to succeed because Heather helped me to determine not only why I wanted to win the state title, but also why I should win the state title. So many teenage girls, like me, have issues with their self-image, and by working with Heather, I began to have one of what Oprah Winfrey calls an “Aha moment.” I know for sure that I am an outstanding, talented young lady with a giving heart and a fun personality! How could the judges not enjoy me?

At the state finals last week, I went into the interview competition confident that my answers would be fun to listen to and when I left the interview room, I was sure that the judges liked me! That just made all of the other competition easier, because mentally, I was in the right place and for the first time, I wasn’t stressed or nervous about the competitions. I was ready to take the
stage! On the final night, I was thrilled to be crowned as the 2011 Texas Today’s Teen Queen and I am so looking forward to reigning for the year and having the opportunity to realize one of my reasons for wanting to be the teen queen – so that I could be a role model to younger girls and a positive mentor to those who are my own age. Now that I have Heather as my “life coach,” my confidence level is way higher and I know that I can use the lessons she has taught me not just in pageants, but as I apply for college scholarships and eventually apply for jobs that I really want. I consider Mental Management as my “secret weapon,” and Heather as a mentor and friend. Thank you so much, Heather!

Helping the Frustrated Athlete

This article, written by Troy Bassham, appeared in the June 2009 Newsletter. It's a great article for parents and coaches who want to do more than simply coach their young athletes, but inspire and motivate them.

If this article interests you, you may be interested in attending our upcoming Coaches Training Seminar this summer. The seminar will cover concepts discussed in this article and much much more. For more information on the Coaches Training Seminar, call 972-899-9640.

HELPING THE FRUSTRATED ATHLETE

Sometimes we don't get the results we want in life. It could be a bad grade on a report card, or a loss in a competition, or not performing up to standard. There are going to be many situations that will occur when a parent and or coach will have to deal with the frustrated player. So how do you handle someone who is upset and frustrated over their performance?

Anytime I am dealing with a young athlete, whether they are 10 or 19, I always remember the "Principle of the Picture"! This principle states, "It's not important what you say, it's critical what you cause the other person to picture." I handle their situation like I handle most of them, I follow three steps and make sure I remember the most important opportunity that I have at that moment (we'll get to that at the end).

Step 1: You must recognize the accomplishment
It doesn't matter how the performance went or what happened, we must look at the good that can come from it. I remember working with a young golfer, he was 17, and he was very upset with his score. He shot a 78 on a course that he knows very well. "I should have had par or better, but I messed up! I hate this feeling", he said in a frustrated tone. I asked him, "What went well today?" He replied, "I had a birdie on the first hole, but it was the only one I had all day." I said, "Great! What an accomplishment. Imagine if you birdied every first hole of every tournament you entered. How would that make you feel? It's like you to start the tournament well. You have had several tournaments where you started off with a birdie, that's great."

Step 2: Get the athlete involved with the solution
Once I praised him for his accomplishment I needed to address the issue at hand with caution. I want the individual to come up with some ways to help improve his game and the best way to do this is to ask them a question. "If you had a chance to prepare for this event all over, what are some of the things you would do differently to help insure that your good play would last the whole day?" This forces the individual to look at solutions and not focus on the problem or his bad performance. Kids are ten times more motivated to do something if the idea comes from them, rather than from an outside source. So by asking this question they create a possible solution to do better next time.

Step 3: Replace But with What
This is a carry over from step two, but it's important. I can't tell you how many times I have overheard a parent tell their kid what they did well, only to follow it up with BUT... The conversation after the word but is not a positive one. Both my girls play soccer and after a game you will usually hear parents express their praise or disbelief to their players. One time a coach made this comment to his daughter, "You played so well the first half, but what happened in the second half? You played horrible; it was like you didn't want to be there. You couldn't pass the ball; you weren't getting open for a pass, what gives?" Now ask yourself, "What do you think his daughter was picturing in her mind. I'm sure this father is only trying to help, but what the kid is picturing is it doesn't matter how good I do, you only focus on the bad. This will tear up the self image of the player and in some cases, it makes them leave the sport.

Instead of pointing out the good and following it up with but, follow it up with what. Let your child know what you're proud of and give them the due props for their accomplishments and then address the issue with what can we do to improve type of question. This will get them involved in the solution and make them feel like they are on the right path to success.

When this situation happens we have an opportunity to help build the player, this is an important thing to do as coaches and parents. Becoming is just as important, if not more important, as accomplishing. This situation allows us to help them become the athlete, student, or worker they want to become. The reason for short falls in performance often lie in the individual not having the proper habits and attitudes of the person they want to become. It's our job to help guide them toward obtaining habits and attitudes of champions so they can reach their goals.

Written by: Troy Bassham, Master Level Mental Management Instructor and Director of Junior Development for Mental Management Systems - to reach Troy send an email to info@mentalmanagement.com

Coaches Training Program - April 15 & 16, 2011

Coaches Training Seminar

Who will benefit from this seminar:

Coaches

Instructors

Managers

Parents

Any coach who wants training on how to build the client or student at the same time as they teach technique.

Our Goal is to help to make your job easier and help to make you a better coach or instructor

What will you learn:

How to structure training to help build self image in your students.

How to get more done in less time, advance students faster, prepare them better.

How to help students understand how to set goals and change habits.

How to develop leverage to make students do what they don’t like to do in order to reach their potential.

How to determine readiness factors in order to know what coaching style to use.

How to be a more effective coach by adapting to different coaching styles.

How to maximize the effectiveness of the coach and minimize the pitfalls that can cause your team trouble

Learn the secret to building a program people can’t wait to join.

Learn the benefits of learning from mistakes.

Determine ways to diagnose if a student is having is a Focus Issue, Self-Image Issue or a Technical Issue.

Learn why some players who are playing well have a down turn.

Learn what to do when a players performance drops.

How to change your coaching according to the learning styles of the students to increase retention and understanding.

Learn how to seek out opportunities to inspire and motivate not simply instruct.

How to conduct Performance Coaching Session.

How to make your counseling with your students powerful, memorable and effective.

Develop an understanding of how the mental game syncs with technique and form

Develop an understanding of Mental Management as it pertains to instruction.

Very little training is available for coaches and we are excited to offer this session!

When & Where:

April 15 & 16, 2011 – Homewood Suites, Lewisville, TX

Cost - $695 per person limited to 25 coaches

Early Registration is $550 per person for those who register by March, 25th!

Go HERE to Register or call 972-899-9640

The Instructor for this session is Lanny Bassham who will be assisted by Troy Bassham.

Lanny is a Silver and Gold Medalist in the Olympics, Two-Time World Champion, Official Olympic Coach for 2 Olympic Games, owner of the International Shooting School where he coached for 11 years and Mental Management Founder, Business Owner and Mental Coach for the last 31 years. Lanny also owned and operated a Multi-Million Dollar Networking Business for 20 years with extensive training in sales & leadership. Lanny has created this New Coaches Program based on what he has learned through his experiences as a coach and business owner. You won't want to miss it!

This type of training is applicable to any coach or anyone who works with people. Coaches who have attended or are signed up to attend this training course include coaches in the following sports:

Archery
Baseball
Bowling
Dog Sports
Golf
Pistol/Rifle
Shotgun Sports
Swimming
Tennis

And Non-sports related coaches or managers in the following areas also attended or are planning to attend this training:

Dance
Vocal Performance
Business/Sales
Pageant Director/Coach
Law Enforcement
Parents of competitive youth

Cycling Coach recommends "With Winning in Mind"

“I discovered With Winning in Mind- The Mental Management System, by Lanny Bassham, when searching for books on the topic of motivation/positive thinking/coaching. Having a positive mental frame is crucial to winning and excelling in any area of one’s life: in business, athletics, and personal. Mr. Bassham’s book was the only one I found that encompassed the best of the principles of behavior modification, with positive thinking and coaching in an easy to assimilate and successful format.

I loved the book and used its inspiration to coach an athlete who was at bottom 5% to top 5% and two podium wins. I just recently bought the DVD for my own use, to keep me re-charged, I love it! I highly recommend the book and the DVDs.”

Ileana Sisson, M.S. Ph.D., cand. Psychotherapist, USA Cycling Coach